Do you get so intensely jealous, that sometimes you can feel jealousy eating you up from the inside and consuming you? For example you might not like it when your best friends also have other close friend. Potentially you feel unfavourably towards your partner, for even just talking to a member of the opposite sex without you. You possibly even find that you struggle to trust people due to your jealous nature. Undoubtedly, jealousy can be a very destructive emotion in our lives. Hopefully this blog will help you identify WHY you might be feeling jealous towards someone, and also offer you tips to help address it.


Principally, low self-esteem causes jealousy. So naturally, the step one is to identify and understand why you have low self-esteem. Why do you feel that someone is better than you, or that someone has got something that you haven’t? Once you understand why you have low regard for yourself, you can then begin to take steps to fix it. You can then change your perception on what happened to you in your life, and see it for what it is now, in context to where you are in now your life.


Common triggers for low self-esteem and feelings of jealousy, are:

  • Bullying
  • Humiliation
  • Infidelity to you
  • Feeling abandoned by your friends
  • You have a sibling (typically an older sibling) and you feel that you were consistently overlooked because of him/her by your parents. Also you felt you didn’t receive enough attention and care
    • Perhaps you were constantly compared to your sibling by your parent or guardian. They may have potentially they used labels I.e., ‘he’s the clever one’, ‘she’s the pretty one’ which damaged your self esteem at an early age


Step two in overcoming your jealous streak is to build up your self-esteem. Consider the notion that your jealousy is a symptom of your low self-esteem, therefore once you begin to bolster your self-esteem, you will begin to feel no longer threatened by those emotions. Our YouTube and TikTok accounts have more films on this topic. Our book ‘Everyday Confidence which goes into further detail on how to ditch your self-doubt. It also covers how to move on from your social anxieties and self-esteem issues, such as feelings of jealousy.

In our book Everyday Confidence, we tackle common confidence saboteurs via many case studies that you might relate to. We also look at changing old behavioural patterns, negative people and toxic situations. In every case, we aim to remind you that you have more power than you think. Because after all confidence is an inside job.


Until you have solved the origin of your low self-esteem or until you have found successful ways to build your self-esteem back up. When you find yourself feeling jealous, question why? Realise that you are being unfair to that person in question, just because of your past. Don’t punish yourself, or make others pay for somebody else’s actions in your past. Actions which made you feel bad about yourself. Realise just how amazing you are! That person who you’re feeling jealous about should in fact be inspiring you, and making you feel more motivated.